a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just pee around me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
