I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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