She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
