He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
