You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
