Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
3pm strippers are depressing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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