Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
