okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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