Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
