Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(985): View more from Louisiana

At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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(281): View more from Texas

i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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(512): View more from Texas

There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.

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(509): View more from Washington

He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes

(360): View more from Washington

OMG haha What did he say?

(503): View more from Oregon

He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.

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(302): View more from Delaware

you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.

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