I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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