He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
