I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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