I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
