I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
