Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
