You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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