I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
