1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
