how can u be prego again
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
we should paint friendship bongs
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
