I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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