are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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