Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
