I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Be still, my beating vagina.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
