Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
