And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
