if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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