You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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