Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
