My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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