The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
