I hate your face
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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