i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
