Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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