i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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