We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
