im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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