That's intense
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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