"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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