all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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