no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
