do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
