So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
