Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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