ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
