I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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