Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
