hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
