If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
