There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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