break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
