your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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