apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
